Saving Each Other
by RosalineC
Summary: AH AU. Both William "Spike" Pratt and Buffy Summers have a past they would love to forget. Seeing each other again after years apart makes that difficult. Can they save each other?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, Whedon owns it all. Including my soul.**

**A/N: I promised myself I wouldn't get sucked into writing another long fic during the school semester, especially since I already have two others to work on. But then I got inspired by the massive amounts of Spuffy all-human AU fics I was reading and the lyrics to "How to Save a Life" by The Fray. So here I am...**

**For Jane and Mindy, my biggest fans and biggest inspiration.**

**~Rose**

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**Prologue**

_"Step one—you say, 'We need to talk.'"_

**Sunnydale: Five Years Ago**

William Pratt knew he was running late. He was supposed to pick up Buffy fifteen minutes ago but he got held up dealing with his mother again. It was the night of the prom and he thought perhaps his mother would be civil for once and let him have one special night but no such luck. She was just as drunk as ever and decided yelling at him and telling him over and over that she thought he was a worthless git was a good confidence booster for what he was about to do.

Buffy Summers had been his best friend since he moved from England with his mum ten years ago. She was the only one who kept his life from being a complete living hell. Only she knew that is mum would get so drunk that she would often hit him. She had been there when no one else was. A boy like William didn't have very many friends, in fact all he had was Buffy, and she meant everything to him.

He couldn't pinpoint exactly when he had fallen in love with her but gradually over the years it had happened. She had no idea how he felt and he knew she would never feel the same way but she would soon be moving to L.A. where she would be going to school in the fall and he knew he had to tell her how he felt before she left. He had to tell her tonight.

He would never be able to tell her though if he never got out of his bloody house and picked her up.

"She'd never be with you," his mother spat out at him, "You're beneath her. You're just some pathetic wanker who she could never love."

William hadn't even told his mother what he was planning on doing but she assumed as soon as she found out that he was actually going to go to prom. She had been making comments and making him miserable ever sense. She knew exactly what buttons to push to hurt William the most and he was tired of it. He was tired of feeling this way.

"I don't care Mum," he finally said, "I don't care that you hate me."

He opened the front door, rage still surging through him, and his mother tried to stop him from leaving. She grabbed his arm but he pulled it away immediately and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

~O.o.O.o.O~

"Are you sure you're okay?" Buffy asked him for what had to be the tenth time.

"I'm fine," he lied, yet again. Buffy knew that he'd had a fight with his mother but she dint know what it was about. Buffy was usually his rock when it came to his mother. She was the only one who knew about the verbal abuse—and the physical, in those times she would get really drunk and hit him.

"If you're sure," she said, not believing him. They had been at the dance for a couple of hours now and William still seemed a bit upset. Little did Buffy know, it was her that made him so damn nervous.

"Can we talk Buffy?" he asked her quietly.

"Of course," she replied, confused at why he would even ask. She dragged him outside where they could have a little more privacy.

"Buffy, I..." he began, not sure how to tell his best friend that he was in love with her. He was afraid that she would never see him that way. She, she had come with him to the prom tonight but that was just because her boyfriend Riley had broken up with her a week ago, leaving her dateless.

"I..." he tried again. "I don't know how to say this..."

She looked at him encouragingly. God she was beautiful. Tonight she was wearing a long gold dress that complimented her golden hair and tanned skin perfectly. She was stunning and William couldn't get the words out.

"Buffy I lo—" he tried again, this time interrupted by his phone ringing. He gave her an apologetic look before answering it.

"Slow down... What happened?" he asked. As he listened to the person on the other end of the line he became paler and paler. His hand ran through his light brown curls as he tried to calm himself.

He finally hung up and Buffy, also looking worried now, asked, "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Mum," he answered simply, "She got into a bit of trouble at the bar. I have to go pick her up."

"I'm coming with you," Buffy told him.

"No, you're not. I'm not going to have you missing the rest of the prom because of me."

"I don't care about the damn prom! I care about you!"

He didn't say another word, knowing Buffy wouldn't let this go and would come with him whether he liked it or not. He grabbed her hand in his, his attempt of revealing his feelings to her forgotten, and led her out to his car.

~O.o.O.o.O~

"I didn't need you to come get me, William!" Anne Pratt snapped at her son.

"That's not how Willy told it," he shot back. William and Willy, the owner of the local bar, were not only on a first name basis but they also had each other's numbers due to how often William had to come get his drunken mother.

Anne and William fought the whole car ride. Buffy sat there silently waiting for William to drop her off at home so he could take his mother home and sober her up. Buffy hoped he would walk her to her front door and finish telling her what he had tried to before.

All three of them were so wrapped up in their own little dramas that they didn't notice the drunk driver swerving out of control until the vehicle hit theirs.

The last thing heard was Buffy screaming William's name before she lost consciousness.


	2. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: All I own are my feels. And even those are due to Whedon.**

**A/N: Apparently I couldn't wait to upload another chapter.**

**For Jami and Jane because they are impatient. **

**~Rose **

* * *

**Chapter One**

_"He walks, you say, "Sit down it's just a talk"_

**London, England: Five years later**

"My Spike. Oh, my Spike," Drusilla moaned as Spike Pratt ran his tongue along her slit. He found her clit with his thumb and flicked it, causing her to lose control. She called his name as she came, pleased with herself that she'd tricked him into this again. She grabbed her skirt, quickly got dressed, and left the room.

Spike looked down at his erection and wondered how the hell he got himself into this mess.

~O.o.O.o.O~

William Pratt had moved to London four years ago after waking up in a hospital where he had been in a coma for six months.

He tried not to think about the accident that occurred that night. The accident that had killed his mother and put him into a coma. When he woke up his Uncle Rupert Giles had been there and filled him in on what happened and that he had missed his mother's funeral.

He felt guilty that his mother hadn't even been the first person in his mind. His first question to Giles had been if Buffy was alright. Giles ha informed him that Buffy's arm had been broken but other than that she'd been fine. Giles asked if William wanted to see her but he had refused.

Buffy demanded to see him many times but William refused for weeks until the doctors gave him the okay to travel and he move to London with his uncle Giles who lived there.

As time passed, Buffy had finally stopped trying to contact him and that suite him just fine. He would never forgive himself for what happened that night. If he hadn't have been so distracted by yelling at his mother maybe she'd still be alive. He should have noticed the car coming towards them. He was the reason his mother was dead and he couldn't face Buffy after that.

After he moved to England, William met Drusilla Edwards. She was the complete opposite of Buffy and that was the only reason he agreed to date her—she wouldn't remind him of what he had lost.

Drusilla had made him what he was now. He knew he couldn't be William anymore. William died the day of the accident and he couldn't stand pretending he was still him. With Dru's help he completely reinvented himself. His light brown curls were gone, slicked back, bleached blond hair in its place. He no longer went by his given name, deciding to go by the nickname "Spike", which Drusilla came up with. His soft British accent that he'd had from living in Westbury, England until he was ten had been replaced with a much rougher, more "street" accent.

Spike and Dru had dated for three years until she broke it off. Despite the fact she claimed Spike wasn't enough for her, she still came back for sex from time to time and no matter how often Spike told himself he wouldn't give in this time, he always did.

Spike's life was a mess.

~O.o.O.o.O~

Rupert Giles had been banging on his nephew's door for about five minutes straight. He knew that he was home so why the hell wasn't he answering?

"Keep yer bloody shirt on! I'm coming!"

Upon opening the door and seeing his uncle standing there Spike dryly said, "Lo Rupes. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Cleaning his glasses, Giles awkwardly cleared his throat and said, "Uh, hello William. Mind if I come in?"

"Suppose not," Spike shrugged. He moved to the side to let his uncle in. "So how've ya been Rupert?"

Giles ignored his attempt at small talk. "Sit down," he told the bleached blond.

"Cut right to the chase don't you? What's yer bloody plan now? Another intervention about how I shouldn't let Dru walk all over me"

Giles made it quite clear how he felt about his nephew's trollop but that wasn't why he was here today.

"William," he started, his voice much softer now, "I just got a call from Dawn Summers."

Spike flinched at the name of the younger sister of the woman he still loved after five years.

"What's wrong?" he asked, suddenly panicked, "Is it Buffy?"

"No, Buffy's fine," the older man comforted. He knew he should've started by saying that. He should have known that his nephew's first thoughts would be about the blonde. William never talked about her but he knew there had to be some story behind what happened between them.

"Bloody hell Rupert! Tell me what's going on!"

"Joyce Summers passed away yesterday," Giles said quietly. He didn't know Joyce very well, only from the visits he made to his sister and nephew every summer before Anne died and William came to live in England, but she seemed like a very nice woman and he knew William had been close to her.

Spike ran his hands over his face. He was never close to his mother but he still felt all the pain and heartbreak when she died. He couldn't imagine how Buffy and Dawn must have felt losing a parent they were actually close to. "How did it happen?" he asked quietly.

"Brain aneurism. She's been fighting a tumor for quite some time now and they thought she was finally in remission. Buffy quit school when she got sick to take care of her and Dawn. She came home from grocery shopping yesterday and found Joyce dead on the couch."

"When is the funeral?" Spike asked, trying to pull himself together.

"In three days." Giles had a one way ticket for William and one there and back for himself in his pocket. He knew his nephew probably wouldn't want to go but he needed too. Not only for Buffy but for himself too.

A now very pale Spike seemed to be thinking the same thing. "Guess we're going back to good ol' Sunnyhell."


	3. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah you know the drill. I own nothing.**

**A/N: Jami this is your fault.**

**~Rose**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

_"He smiles politely back at you" _

Buffy Summers never stopped moving. She couldn't let herself not be busy. The moment she slowed down and took a second to breathe, reality came crashing down on her again and her mom was really gone.

"Buffy, slow down for half a second," her best friend Willow Rosenberg told her.

Buffy and Willow went to high school together but they weren't really friends. Buffy hung around more with Cordelia Chase, Anya Jenkins, Liam Angelus, and Riley Finn. William was always uncomfortable with that group of people and chose to hang out with Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, and Daniel "Oz" Osbourne instead. Of course, once they got away from their separate groups, Buffy and William were inseparable. Until he left...

After graduation Buffy went to UCLA for school just like she planned to. She was excited to be away from home but she was worried about not knowing anyone.

Then she ran into—literally—Willow on her second day at UCLA. Apparently Willow wanted to get away from Sunnydale as well. They seemed to bond instantly and had been best friends ever sense.

Willow was going on to med school along with her girlfriend Tara when the summer was over. Willow wanted to be a pediatrician and Tara a psychiatrist. They were both staying in L.A. for that.

Buffy had been forced to drop out of college during her third year as an art history major to take care of her sister and sick mom. Her mom owned a gallery and she had loved art since she was a little girl. Now, along with the house, the gallery belonged to Buffy. At least she knew she had a job. If she could keep it running...

"Buffy! Earth to Buffy!"Willow called again, pulling her out of her thoughts. Thinking too much was never a good thing; especially thinking about the upcoming funeral. The last funeral she had been too was William's mother's five years ago. The funeral he hadn't even been at because he was in a coma.

Now her thoughts were really in dangerous uncharted territory. She didn't want to think about William and how he refused to see her when he finally woke up. She never even got to say goodbye before he moved to England. He had never contacted her and although she had his uncle's number he refused to give her William's, saying it was his choice if he wanted to be in contact with her or not.

"Buffy!" Willow called once more.

"Sorry, I'm here" Buffy replied. Buffy was still cleaning like she had been for the past four and a half hours.

"Buffy, would you sit down already?" Willow asked, more than a little worried about her best friend.

"I don't have time Willow. I have to get this house clean."

"Buffy the house is already clean," Willow tried to assure her. Buffy's obsessive cleaning was starting to wig Willow out.

"I can't stop Willow," she said, tone indicating that Willow should just drop it.

Willow raised her hands in the air, knowing that she had lost this one for now, and walked away. She'd leave Buffy alone to grieve for now, but she'd be back.

~O.o.O.o.O~

"I don't know how I feel about this Rupert. I haven't seen her in years. I can't just walk in there now and expect her not to hate me."

Spike and Giles were sitting outside Buffy's house and had been for ten minutes. They had decided renting a car was the best idea since they weren't sure how long they would be there, and now Spike was too afraid to get out of it. Afraid of rejection. Afraid that he would turn right back into William the moment he walked through that door.

"You're not here for her to like you William," Giles told him, trying to be both blunt and gentle at the same time. "You're here for Joyce. Buffy will see and hopefully accept that."

"I hope so, Rupert. I really hope so."

~O.o.O.o.O~

Buffy continued dusting already clean surfaces and silently huffed about Willow's attempt to get her to stop. _I do not have a cleaning problem_, she thought. _ I just need to keep busy._

There was a knock on her door and she almost dropped the vase she was moving. She really didn't want to answer it but it could be one of her mom's relatives showing up for the funeral the next day so she really should. "Just a moment!" she called out, gently placing the vase back in its place and heading toward the door. She couldn't believe her eyes when she opened it to see a familiar, yet completely different man with a small sad smile on his face.

"William."

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**A/N: I know it's short. Another one will be up today or tomorrow.**


	4. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: I doubt Whedon would blow off homework to write fanfiction.**

**~Rose**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

_"You stare politely right on through"_

"William," she repeated, not quite sure if he was real or not. He looked so different: black clothes, slicked back bleached blonde hair, and a long leather coat. His face... his face never changed. His cheek bones were still the most prominent she had ever seen. His eyes were still so blue you could swim in them. He was still beautiful—maybe even more so—and he was here. Why was he here?

"Buffy," he replied softly."Can I come in luv?" she couldn't help but notice his accent was different too.

Buffy couldn't even begin to form words. Silently, she stood there gaping until she heard a second man clear his throat. She had been so shocked to see William that she hadn't even noticed Rupert Giles standing behind him.

"Giles!" she exclaimed. She embraced the older man in a warm hug, completely ignoring the man's nephew.

"Buffy dear, how are you doing?" Giles asked, finally letting go of the tiny blonde.

"Some days are harder than others but I'm managing. Come in Giles; it's been a while since we talked. Fill me in on everything."

The older man followed the young blonde woman into the leaving room, leaving Spike completely unacknowledged.

~O.o.O.o.O~

The next twenty-four hours passed by far too quickly.

Family members started showing up left right and center as did friends. Buffy certainly had a full house.

"Have you talked to him yet?" Cordelia asked Buffy. The two had remained friends after high school even though Cordelia had moved to Paris. Cordy had really changed since they were in high school and she was now one of the most caring people Buffy knew.

"Not yet," Buffy admitted. "I don't even know what I would say."

"Tell him you missed him and you want him to give you many orgasms," Anya pitched in. Buffy groaned. She may like Anya but Anya's lack of tact was enough to drive them all crazy.

"Ahn, hon, we've talked about you bringing up orgasms in conversation outside of the bedroom," Xander warned.

If it wasn't such a somber situation Buffy would smile at how much it was like old times. Her seven, no six, she had to correct herself since William no longer counted, best friends were all there. She was glad that the two separate groups from high school had ended up merging even without William there to help Buffy bring them together. Oz was travelling somewhere in Asia and Riley hadn't been a part of the group in years, but other than that everyone was there. Buffy couldn't help but notice everyone was paired up too. Xander and Anya had been dating for a few years now. Cordy and Liam "Angel" Angelus had been dating ever since high school. Even Willow was paired up. Tara hadn't gone to high school with them but she was part oof the group nonetheless. The only one who wasn't paired up was Buffy. _And William_, she thought as an afterthought. But she didn't want to think about him.

"I was just saying what we were all thinking," Anya defended.

They all decided to just drop it. Anya hadn't been entirely wrong though. Everyone may not have been thinking about orgasms, but they all were thinking about how much Buffy missed her former best friend. She had to come to her senses and talk to him eventually.

~O.o.O.o.O~

Even though she was surrounded by people, Dawn Summers had never felt so alone as she stood by her mother's coffin. It was hard now but she knew that she would get through it. Today was hard but tomorrow would be harder. Finding the strength to move on.

Her sister was beside her, staring off into space. On one side of the coffin was a bunch of relatives Dawn barely knew and on the other side was Buffy's friends and Dawn's best friends Janice and Kit. Giles was over with their friends but William stood a bit farther back than everyone else.

Dawn was worried about her sister. She didn't seem to be grieving in a healthy way, she had just shut down emotionally instead. Dawn was pretty sure her sister hadn't even cried. She was trying so hard to keep everything from falling apart that she wouldn't even let herself fall apart even for a moment so she could cry the pain out like Dawn had.

On top of it all Dawn was worried about how William's—no, Spike's, as he now wanted to be called—presence would affect Buffy. When Dawn was little she always thought that Spike and Buffy were going to end u being a couple. She never really liked Riley and was glad when they broke up even though she was sad that it hurt her sister. After that she thought that maybe her sister and the quiet British boy would have a shot. But then the accident happened. And then when he woke up, Spike left. And then Parker happened...

Dawn hoped that everything would work out and that Spike would be able to pick up and piece together the broken pieces of her sister.


	5. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: Wait, you mean I didn't turn into Joss Whedon overnight? Damn.**

**A/N: For my three girls. You know who you are.**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

_"Some sort of window to your right"_

The funeral finally ended and people started leaving. Buffy reassured her friends that she was fine and that they should go on without her. At last she was standing there alone.

At least she thought she was. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn't notice that Spike was only standing a few feet behind her watching her stare at her mother's grave.

"I'm so sorry pet," he said, finally making his presence known. She wasn't sure if he meant that he was sorry for her loss or if he was sorry for all the crap he put her through. "For everything," he added, as if he could read her mind. Sometimes, in high school, she swore he really could.

"What do you want William?" she asked harshly, emphasizing his given name.

"I don't want anything luv," he told her, not bothering to correct her on the name thing when she was this upset. "Just let me be here for you."

"You left me," she deadpanned, "You weren't here for me. Why should I let you be now?"

"Buffy..." His voice was full of emotion.

"No William! I don't want to hear it. I get that you were dealing with stuff. Hell, you had just woken up from a six month coma after being in a car accident to discover that your mother had died in said accident." Buffy finally looked into his eyes; the blue orbs were as full of pain as she was sure her hazel ones were. She looked away quickly and continued, "I get why you had to leave, William. I do, but you could have at least said goodbye. You could have at least let me see you."

She stared down at the ground, willing herself not to turn her head to the right an look up at him. His eyes always were the window to his soul and she couldn't bear to deal with that right now.

"I couldn't see you," he finally admitted. "You were the only other one there. The only one who saw me kill my mother!"

Buffy's heart broke for him. All this time he had been blaming himself. "God, William, It wasn't your fault. A drunk driver hit us."

"Maybe I could have prevented it if I was paying better attention to the road," he told her, voice full of regret.

"You know that isn't true," she told him.

They fell into a silence and both just stared ahead at the grave in front of them. They had both lost their mothers now. They both had fathers who abandoned them when they were young and now they had both lost their mothers too. It was yet something else they had in common. Neither one had any idea just how much they truly did have in common. They both had their secrets. They had no idea how much they needed each other to get past them.

"I went to see you every day when you were in the hospital," she said so softly she wasn't sure if he would even be able to hear her. "I would spend hours sitting next to you. Talking to you. Holding your hand. Wishing you would wake up. And then you did. You woke up and you wouldn't let me see you. Do you know what it's like to have everyone leave you? My dad, Riley, you, my mom! Do you William?"

He nodded slowly, not trusting himself to find words. She suddenly felt horrible. Of course he knew how she felt.

She was struggling to hold back the emotions that were threatening to rise to the surface and break through. Spike could see Buffy failing to hold herself together and decided to take a risk and reach out to set his hand on her shoulder. He couldn't blame her for verbally lashing out at him right now. She seemed to be beating herself about it though.

"I'm so sorry luv," he said again. She wasn't pulling away from his hand so he chose to make an even bolder move and pull her into his arms.

She stiffened for a moment, not sure whether she should pull away or not. "It's okay," Spike whispered into her hair. Her last bit of self control broke and the tears started to fall. Spike pulled her closer as she buried her face in his chest and started to sob. Spike felt his own eyes welling up with tears as they both collapsed to the ground in front of Joyce's gravestone.

Time stood still as the two blonds held each other and cried. Cried over their deadbeat fathers. Over their dead mothers. Over the fucked up mess that is their lives. Over losing each other.

They cried until they could cry no more and then Spike just held her even longer, rocking her against him and murmuring comforting words against her skin.


	6. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: I am Joss. Yeah, as if.**

**~Rose**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

_"As he goes left and you stay right"_

No one knew how long Buffy and Spike stayed on the ground for. Dusk had started to fall so it must have been a couple of hours at least. After her crying jag Buffy was exhausted and ended up falling asleep in Spike's arms. He tried not to move to much for fear that she would wake up and leave. God, he couldn't describe how it felt to have her so close to him even though he knew it wouldn't last. He wanted nothing more than to press soft kisses to her hair and tell her how much he loved her. Even after all this time, she still meant everything to him. Giving her up was one of the hardest and stupidest things he had ever done.

~O.o.O.o.O~

"Dawnie, toast and eggs or cereal for breakfast?" Buffy asked her sister a few mornings later. Everyone had finally left the house and Buffy was enjoying the quiet. All her family had gone home and Cordy and Angel had gone back to Paris. Willow and Tara were still in town but they were staying with Xander and Anya for a little while so Buffy could have some alone time with Dawn. Giles and William were still in town but luckily for Buffy they were staying in a motel.

"Toast sounds good," Dawn told her. Buffy nodded and wordlessly grabbed the bread and popped it into the toaster. The silent routine was nothing new for Dawn. Buffy had been pretty quiet since the funeral. Dawn wasn't sure exactly what happened after the funeral ended but Buffy and Spike had been missing for hours afterwards.

Buffy sat a plate of food in front of Dawn before sitting down next to her. Dawn couldn't help but notice that Buffy had never gotten any food for herself.

~O.o.O.o.O~

"Would you go see her already before you wear a hole in the floor?" Giles snapped at his nephew who had been pacing non-stop around the motel room since the funeral earlier in the week.

"Will it get you to leave me bloody well alone?" Spike asked, irritated that his uncle wouldn't leave the matter alone since he told him what happened with Buffy after the funeral. When Buffy had finally woken up and noticed that she was still in Spike's arms, she gave him a panicked look before running away. He hadn't seen her sense.

"Yes it will," Giles told him earnestly. All Giles wanted was to see the two of them work it out.

"Fine then," spike huffed, walking out the door without a clue what he was going to say to the woman this time.

~O.o.O.o.O~

"Do you think they are going to be okay?" the beautiful brunette woman asked her boyfriend.

"I think they will, Cordy," Angel answered her. "Buffy and Dawn are both incredibly strong."

"That they are," Cordelia agreed, "but that's not what I meant."

Angel rolled ever in bed to face her and realization dawned on him. "Oh, you're talking about Buffy and Spike aren't you?"

"Yeah," Cordy said, fiddling with the edge of their expensive silk sheets. Both Cordy and Angel came from money which is why they were able to live and work in Paris. Cordelia was a fashion designer and Angel worked in a high end restaurant. His father had wanted him to take over the family law firm but greed and corruption just didn't appeal to him.

"Buffy and Spike have always been meant for each other. Do you remember in high school, at lunch, when we used to try to talk to Buffy but she didn't hear a word we were saying because she was too busy staring at the table that _he_ was sitting at?"

Cordelia chuckled at the memory. She used to get so bad at Buffy for ignoring her. Now she just regretted that they were too stuck up in high school to go sit with Spike and his friends.

"I hope they work it out," she told Angel.

"I do too, Cordy. I do too."


End file.
